Monday, December 30, 2013

A Conversation I'd Probably Have

Imaginary Minister: “In order to disciple, you have to leverage the natural rhythms of your relationships.”

Me: “What if I don’t have much in the way of relationships?”

Imaginary Minister: “Well, you just have to figure that one out for yourself.”

Me: “Seriously? How would I do that?”

Imaginary Minister: “Uh, Well. Have you tried asking someone to help you?”

Me: “Yes, but no one will help. What about you?”

Imaginary Minister: “Uh, sure? Well, maybe. I don’t know if I can be much help.”

Me: “I thought as much.”

Imaginary Minister: “Okay, let me try: You are a great guy and you can do anything you put your mind to.”

Me: “I’ll take your word for it. How does that help me?”

Imaginary Minister: “Or, let me see… You just have to put yourself out there.”

Me: “What does that even mean?

Imaginary Minister: “Just speak up and be yourself.”

Me: “The course of action you propose has an epistemological flaw in its presuppositions.”

Imaginary Minister: “[…silence…] Could you translate that into English?”

Me: “So I can’t be myself.”

Imaginary Minister: “Sure you can. Just… uh. I mean people can’t relate to you when you talk over their heads.”

Me: “So basically I have to filter what I say.”

Imaginary Minister: “Just say what you mean.”

Me: “I did that and you couldn’t relate to me.”

Imaginary Minister: “So, uh… Well, I have to go. I have people coming over to the house for a Bible study.”